Trailer
From the garage to the quiet floor. Sound on.
The AI boom, one week at a time
LLM Wars is a management sim about racing to the frontier. Pick what to train and how carefully, hire the people who make it good, and decide whether to sell it or give it away. Every release is reviewed, then the market, the public and eventually the government react.
The music starts as hopeful garage chiptune and turns darker as the decade goes on. So does the news.
What you'll do
Train and ship
- Pick a focus (chat, code, vision, agents, voice, robotics and more) and the data to train on.
- Choose how big to go and how careful to be. Moving fast costs flaws, and flaws become incidents.
- Release closed for money or open for fans. Open weights can't be taken back.
Build the lab
- Hire, promote and keep your people before rivals poach them.
- Some legends are hiding in the candidate pool.
- Raise money from investors, but every round costs you a share. Sell too much and the board takes over.
Face the consequences
- Watch whole professions get replaced, one release at a time.
- Lobby, testify, or ask for a global pause. Regulators escalate from audits to suspending your licence.
- Seven endings, from Steward to Replaced.
What the critics are saying
★★★★★"I don't know what a token is, but I'm very proud."
Mum, Mum's Weekly Digest
★★★★★"10/10. Finally explains why my kid quit their job."
Dad, The Back Garden Review
★★★★★"A triumph. Played it every night this week instead of fixing the gutter."
Wife, Our Kitchen Quarterly
★★★★☆"Heard a lot of shouting about GPUs through the fence. Gripping."
Neighbour, The No. 42 Gazette
★★★★★"It replaced my job. Five stars."
A former copywriter
None of these are real reviews. Our families are very supportive, though.
Good to know
LLM Wars is a work of satire. The people and companies in its news are parodies: not real, and not affiliated with or endorsed by anyone they resemble.
Questions
What is LLM Wars?
LLM Wars is a satirical management sim for iPhone about the AI boom, played as a story in six acts from 2020 to 2032. You start an AI lab in a garage, train and ship models, hire researchers and raise money. Every release is reviewed, then the market, the public and eventually the government react.
Who made LLM Wars, and when did it come out?
LLM Wars is made by Eigen Devs, a small independent studio that makes games for iPhone and Apple Watch. It came out on the App Store on 15 October 2026.
How much does LLM Wars cost?
US$2.99, paid once. There are no ads and no in-app purchases.
What do I need to play?
An iPhone with iOS 17 or later. It plays offline with no account, and your save stays on your iPhone. Worldwide leaderboards use Game Center.
How long is it?
Six acts and seven endings, from Steward to Replaced. The ending depends on what you chose, not just how big your lab got, so it is built to be replayed.
Is LLM Wars about real AI companies?
It is satire. The people and companies in its news are parodies: not real, and not affiliated with or endorsed by anyone they resemble.